PROLOGUE
Vanessa
Never in my
life did I think I would be the prime suspect in my husband’s murder. But
looking back at the choices I made, it’s not so strange that people think I’m a
killer.
I’m not as
innocent as I portray myself. Looks can be deceiving.
However, I
won’t go down for this. Not when I don’t deserve it.
I should’ve
known it would end up this way. That man … Phoenix Sullivan … The moment I saw
that deadly gaze in his eyes, the dark way he looked at me, I knew I was in
trouble.
Big
trouble.
And
something tells me there’s more where that came from.
This game
of catch won’t be ending any time soon.
Phoenix
Look at
her, in her fancy white dress, with her fake blonde curls, and that sweet,
deliciously fake smile. Don’t you just want to fuck that pretentious smile off
her face? I do. And I will.
She has no
idea what’s coming for her. Or her husband.
You see,
I’m not a nice person. When I have my eyes set on something, I do it. In this
case, it’s killing the man she’s married to. She probably won’t like it, but
that’s not my problem. She’s not my target … and she’d better not turn herself
into one.
I’m here
with a purpose, and nothing stands between me and my goal. Not even a pretty
girl with an ass worth fucking. Nobody stands in my way, and if they do, they die.
Too bad for
her I’m like a fucking canon, and when I shoot, shrapnel flies everywhere. If
she gets caught in the fire, that’s on her.
When I want
something, I’m going to get it, no matter the price. Whether it’s killing
someone, or fucking her.
She wants justice,
I’ll give her justice … my justice.
I bet she
isn’t willing to pay the price.
Too bad for
her I always win.
CHAPTER
1
Phoenix
Tonight’s
the perfect night to kill.
I can feel
it in my veins; that undeniable urge flowing through me on nights like these.
Exciting like drugs; the murderous kind.
Clouds
prevent the moonlight from bursting through and cover the land in perpetual
darkness. There are plenty of lanterns lighting the road ahead, but not the
alley I’m headed for. In front of me is a small puddle of water, so I walk past
the side to avoid my new leather shoes from getting wet. You see, I just bought
these, and I prefer to keep them clean for as long as possible. They will
probably lose their shine after tonight’s killings.
Oh well, it’s
not like I’ll need these shoes for anything other than entering the party ahead
and pretending like I belong. Gotta be fancy enough for the big crowd, because
of course, someone in jeans couldn’t be nearly important enough as someone in a
suit.
Bunch of
fake fuckers. If I could, I’d burn the whole fucking place to the ground with
them in it, but I’d rather not end up in jail if I can avoid it. Killing has to
be done as inconspicuous as possible, so nobody will know it was me until I’ve
already disappeared from sight.
It’s my
thing, it’s what I do, or rather what I’ve become. After all these years, I
don’t even remember what it was like to not be a murderer. Not that I want to remember;
hell, I prefer this life over any other, especially the lives of those people
in that party who are about to witness death.
I’ve got to
admit, it is a rush. I just love killing, especially when it’s for the right
reasons. Those reasons are obviously always to benefit me. Why the fuck else
would I murder people if not for my own pleasure? Well, and for the money that
sustains me, of course.
What can I
say? I’m the scum of the earth, the disgusting vile that creeps in the corners
to jump you at night … and I don’t regret being like this for even a second.
I turn into
the alley and come face to face with a bulking, barely-fitting-in-his-suit,
bodyguard. I cock my head as he frowns at me, probably wondering what I’m doing
here.
“Excuse me,
you can’t come here,” he says as I walk closer.
I smile.
“Why not? This is where the party is.”
He folds
his arms, making himself seem larger, but all it does to me is make it more
laughable. “This is the rear entrance. If you want access, you have to take the
front door. If you have a ticket, that is …”
He doesn’t
believe me? Even in my fucking fancy suit? Well, fuck him. I wanted to spare
his life, but questioning my slickness isn’t something one can get away with on
my watch.
“Oh, I have
a ticket, all right,” I say, narrowing my eyes. “How dare you talk to a guest
like that.”
“I’m sorry,
Sir,” he says, “But I’m not allowed to let anyone pass through this door. You
will have to go to the front entrance where they can check your ticket. Sorry.”
Of course
they all think I’m not a guest, because let’s face it … I look like a guy you
wouldn’t want your daughter to talk to, even if it was in broad daylight in
your own fucking home. With my piercings, black hair, and merciless attitude, I
usually scare people to death. I have the kind of face you’d see in your
nightmares … except, when you see me in real life, you’re really dead.
Like this guy.
“Yeah, yeah
… so let me get this straight …” I shuffle around, looking at the floor,
distracting him. “You’re basically telling me I can’t walk here, even
though this is a public alley, just because this isn’t the ‘correct’ entrance
to the party I’m supposed to be attending?”
“I’m only
doing my job.”
I look up
at him. “So am I.”
In a
fraction of a second I’ve grabbed his coat and flip it over his head. I twist
around, to his back, and wrap it around his neck. His screams are quickly
muffled by the fabric stuffed in his mouth, choking him as I drag him back into
the corners of the alley. He claws at the coat, desperate to free himself
before time runs out. Stumbling backwards, we fall to the ground, and I wrap my
legs around his chest to prevent him from moving. His body fights for survival,
his legs thrashing, his hands punching in the air. It’s no use. I will win this
fight, as I always do. He’s losing his energy fast, and his muscles are losing
their strength. It won’t be long now. With his fingers growing whiter every
second, all the blood is rushing to his face, in a last attempt to breath. But
it’s already too late; there is no oxygen left and his lungs are shutting down.
His legs
stop moving and his hands drop to the floor, the last groan slipping off his
tongue like a ghost leaving his body.
Death has
made his entry.
It’s done.
I unwrap
the coat from his face and crawl out from underneath him. Then I drag his body
to the dumpster in the back and put him on the side facing the brick wall. I
take his coat off his dead body and swing it around until it’s long and thin,
like a rope. Then I tie it around a handle of the dumpster and tightly wrap the
other end around his neck. I make sure his body is positioned right and the
tension on the coat is just right, so that when the paramedics or police find
him they’ll think exactly what I want them to think; that this was a mindless
suicide with no further need to investigate.
Hopefully,
they won’t find him before morning, when I’m long gone.
Before I
leave I fish in his pockets and take out a rather convenient card that will
grant me access to the backdoor of the building. Smiling at him, I say, “Sorry,
dude. Business is business. No hard feelings.”
***
Vanessa
One look, a
simple glance, can change everything.
A nod,
narrowing eyes, or a twitch of the lips is all it takes to convey a message
that destroys everything.
I should’ve
trusted my instincts, should’ve listened to the warning signs. The hairs on the
back of my neck stand up, the dread
rippling through my veins, telling me this wasn’t right.
Instead, I
give my husband the glass, my smile, and a soft pet
on the shoulder.
“Here you
go, darling,” I say, giving him a peck on the cheeks.
When I turn
to look back at the man I exchanged looks with, he’s gone.
My husband
laughs and takes the glass from my hand, pulling me from my thoughts. “Vanessa,
let me introduce you to Cordelia.”
The woman
next to him holds out her hand, her smile full of fakery as she says,
“Cordelia, I’m a fan of your husband’s work.”
“Vanessa,
lovely to meet you. My husband seems to have many fans at this party.” I laugh
and smile like the good wife, pretending not to have noticed the wink she gave
him. Her tightly squeezed dress reminds me of my husband’s hand, which was on
her ass just seconds ago. I wonder if the squeeze was good enough, or if he’ll
find more asses to pat later.
In one go,
I chug back my drink.
Everybody
looks at me like I’ve gone insane, but I ignore them. I place my glass down on
a tray held by a waiter passing by and return with a smile. “So, Cordelia, I’ve
heard a lot about you. You’re one of the actresses in my husband’s movies if I’m not mistaken.”
“Yes, our
latest movie will be airing in January this year, so I’m quite excited about
that.”
“Oh, that’s
wonderful. Did you work closely with her?” I ask my husband. “Since you two
seem to know each other so well.”
“Ah, yes,
well …” My husband chokes on his wine.
“Phillip
showed me all around the set. He’s quite a charm,” she says, giggling. “He
knows so much about this business, I swear, I feel like a rookie again when I’m
around him.”
“Hmm … I
can imagine,” I say, smiling again. First name basis already. That went
quickly.
Phillip
coughs a couple more times, his wine glass shaking so much that it spills and
droplets fall to the ground.
“Oh dear,
are you all right, Phillip?” Cordelia asks, placing her hand on her chest.
He coughs
some more, this time bending over, punching his own chest. I grab the glass
from his hand and put it down. “Phillip? Talk to me,” I say.
“I’m …
fine,” he mutters, but I can clearly tell he’s not. He’s coughing too much,
more than I’ve ever seen him do, and that’s noteworthy, as he’s a fervent
smoker.
“Do you
need me to help you?” I ask.
“No … no,
no, I just need some air.”
I place my
hand on his back. “Let’s go outside then.”
“I think
it’s better if you took him home,” Cordelia says, swallowing away the lump in
her throat. “He seems … ill.”
“Thank you
for your concern,” I say. Always so involved. “We’ll be fine.”
“No, she’s
right.” Phillip places a hand on mine. “Let’s go home. Seems this wine was a
little too much for my body to handle. I’ve had enough drinks for one night.”
He laughs, but it’s more pathetic than anything. “Besides, I’ve shown my face
and talked to some people. The party will probably go on fine without us.”
“All right,
if you’re sure. See you later, Cordelia,” I say, waving back at her while I
take my husband outside.
The doors
are opened for us as I escort him outside. My husband dismisses all the help
the waiters want to give him, much to my dismay. I help him down the stone
staircase, which is quite a feat. The more we walk, the more he leans on me,
and it’s becoming harder and harder to help him walk. Soon, I’m the one
carrying most of his weight.
“What’s
happening to you? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,”
he says, the coughs still increasing in volume. “Just had a little too much,
that’s all.” He stumbles across the pavement, almost pulling me down with him.
I can barely keep us both on two feet.
“Phillip,
this isn’t right, you can’t even walk,” I say, walking him all the way to our
car.
“Nothing’s
wrong, I’m just a little … tipsy, that’s all.” He fumbles in his pockets,
leaning against the car as he takes it out and I open the door to step in.
“No, no,
I’m driving,” he says.
“What? No
way, you can’t. You’re too intoxicated.”
He frowns.
“No, I’m not. Now, step aside and let me
drive.”
I make a
face. “Must you always be so damn stubborn? Just let me drive. I can bring us
home safely.”
“There’s
nothing wrong, now move aside, woman.” He shoves me so hard that I have to hold
onto the door to stay steady.
Before I
have time to protest, he sits down behind the wheel and slams the door shut.
My hands
turn into fists as I storm to the other side of the car and mouth some foul
words. This man … ugh, the amount of crap I have to put up with is driving me
insane.
I open the
door and sit my ass down, slamming the door shut behind me. The car starts and
he drives off with a hiccup, hitting a stone ridge to the side of the road.
“Watch it!”
I say.
“Oh,
c’mon,” he says, driving out of the parking lot. “Can you just give me a
break?”
“No, this
is dangerous, and you know it.”
“I said I’m
fine, what more do you want from me, huh?” He starts driving faster.
“Oh, not
this again,” I sigh.
“Keep quiet
then and let me do my job.”
“Your job
is driving?” I jest, as we ride through the city.
He throws
me a glance. “Can you just not make it worse? Like, for one fucking second in
my life, can you just not annoy the ever-loving shit out of me?”
The car is
going faster and faster, even when a traffic light is eminent.
“Philip,
stop.”
“No, you
stop.”
“No, I
mean, the lights!” I yell.
Too late,
he’s already rushing straight through while it was red. I put my hands in front
of my eyes so I won’t see the impending
disaster. My heart is racing, my breathing is ragged, and when I open my eyes
again nothing has happened. Phillip is still sitting next to me, his breathing
loud and his veins bulging through his skin, his face red with rage.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I scream.
“Nothing,
you’re what’s wrong with me!” he yells back.
“You just
drove straight through a red light. Are you insane?”
“If I am,
it’s your fucking fault for always getting on my back,” he hisses.
“And this
is payback? Scaring me? How dare you,” I say. “Stop this car.”
“No.”
We’re
nearing the highway, and I don’t want this to get worse. I need to get out.
“Phillip, stop this car. Right. Now.”
“No,” he
repeats, fuming.
“Let me
out!” I scream.
“We’re not
doing this. Not now,” he says, grinding his teeth.
I look
around, but all I see are roads and other cars, no grass in sight to even
remotely think of jumping out, even though that’s a ridiculous idea. But when
you’re afraid, stupid things go through your head. I hate danger.
Shit, we’re
already driving on the highway. It’s too late.
“What are
you doing?” I ask. “Get off the highway!”
“I’m
getting us home. Now will you shut up already?” he yells. “You’re driving me
crazy with your constant whining.”
The yelling
causes him to cough so hard, the car is swaying.
“Be
careful,” I say, sweating like crazy.
“Shut up!
Just shut up, all right? If you can shut your mouth for like ten minutes, we’ll
get home safely, and I’ll be rid of this nasty cough,” he growls, still
coughing.
“Fine,” I
say, and I turn my head to look out the window.
The lights
pass by quicker with every mile we drive, cars shooting by as if they were
never even there. I try to focus on my breathing, trying to calm myself down so
I can think of a rational solution to this problem. The problem being his cough
and incredibly bad temper. I try to ignore the fact that the car is still
speeding up and that his cough still has not subsided, even though he said it
would when we’d stop talking. After a few minutes, the swaying becomes so bad,
I turn my head to see if I can help.
What I see
makes my heart stop.
Phillip’s
eyes open and close.
His body is
limp.
His hands
aren’t on the steering wheel.
And the car
has already veered from one lane into the other.
“No!” I
squeal, grasping the wheel with all I have, trying to straighten it in time.
But the car
is already too skewed, and when I turn, it starts to spin.
The
backside slips to the left, crashing into the guardrail. Another car hits ours so hard it catapults us into the air.
At this
moment in time, my body is bumping into
my seat and into the window, my head exploding in pain. My vision becomes
blurry as the car cartwheels across the road. I swing from left to right, up
and down, as the belt proves to be of little use to protect me. My hands clamp
around my face in an attempt to protect myself as the car flips again and
again.
When the
car comes to a stop, I’m hanging from the top, gravity pulling on my body. My
lungs are about to burst from the air locked inside. For a moment, my mind
leaves my body, and I fade in and out of consciousness. Blood trickles down my
nose, keeping me awake. My hands feel numb and my feet are swollen, but
somewhere inside me, I find the courage to move.
I lift the
belt and unbuckle myself. My body drops to the hard roof, which is now the
floor, crushing my ribs. I howl in pain, but stop when I can’t breathe. I blink
to clear my view and look around. Phillip hangs next to me, his body lifeless
and limp. And then I notice the smoke.
“Phillip,”
I whisper. “Phillip, wake up.” My throat burns
and my muscles ache as I attempt to free him. However, a flicker of fire is
enough to make me stop in my tracks. Flames are eating up the car, and by the
time I slide out of the car, they have swallowed the metal.
I crawl
further away, hoping to get on my feet and run to Phillip’s side so I can drag
him out myself, but when I try to stand my legs won’t budge. Cars around us
stop as I fight to get away from the car. The fuel entering my nostrils is the
adrenaline that pushes me to keep going.
When I turn
my head to look at the car, flames have engulfed it.
My ears are
ringing, my eyes tearing up from the pain.
My husband
is in there, and despite my efforts, I can’t make it back in time.
He’s
burning alive.
“No!” I
yell, but then cough because I can’t bear the pain. It’s so hot, and everything
hurts.
As I look
around, someone comes toward me. One of the people from the cars that stopped.
My vision is getting blurry again, and my strength is fading fast. Even though
I try to lift my arms, they don’t listen to me, and I lie lifelessly on the
cold asphalt, waiting for the ordeal to end.
Feet come
closer until they stop in front of me. I pour my last ounce of strength into
gazing up into the eyes of the one who will pull me out of here.
He’s none
other than the man I saw at the party.
But his
eyes show no mercy.
And then the final full-length book was RUIN, a book based on a true story I'd been saving for 3 years, but now I was finally able to write it. I felt like I needed more experience before I wrote about a girl in the hospital ... and boy, did I get some experience, haha. This was honestly the hardest book for me to write, and I was so glad when I finally pushed through and finished it. It's not one of my best books, but it certainly is one I am most proud of purely because it's so close to heart.
